One Step

(6/13/06)
it was
one step
too many
it was
one step
too late
to save
myself
It was
the beginning
of the end
I wasn't looking
I didn't see it coming
around the bend
I took
a tumble
there was
nothing
to grab on to
nothing
to stop
or slow
my fall
and now
I'm laying
in this
deep, dark,
cold ravine
no light
is shining
no beacon
to save me
now
so I lay here
too scared
to try and
move
too scared
to find my way
in the darkness
scared that
I may take
one step
too many
I may take
one step
too late
to save
myself
I could
fall
farther
I could
sink
so far
below
that
I'll never
ber found
it could be
one step
too many
it could be
one step
too late

Coffin

(6/10/06)
I awake in the darkness
Usure of where I am
I try to move
Try to sit up and take stock of my surrondings
But the ceiling is too low
The walls are awfully close
No room for me to move
I cry out
"Someone help me"
"Please, save me"
I hear a thud on the ceiling
"Hello, is anyone out there?"
"I am here. Please let me out"
More thuds
The air is growing thin
The thuds are growing softer
"Please.
Please help me" I whisper
But no one hears my cry

The Edge

(6/10/06)
Have you ever stood at the edge
The edge between life and death
Have you ever asked yourself
Should I continue on the path
Or throw myself over the edge
Have you ever tried to ask for help
Only to have them push you closer
Have you ever stood at the edge
The edge between life and death
And felt yourself falling?

Walls

(6/10/06)
Everyday they grow a little taller
Everyday they get a little closer
I used to be able to see
Until forever
Whichever way I turned
I used to be able to see
The blue skies up
To the heavens above
Everyday they grow a little taller
Everyday they grow a little closer
One day I spotted them
The walls on the horizon
Everyday they grow a little taller
Everyday they grow a little closer
The taller and closer they got
The darker my world became
I tried to climb out
To find my way to the other side
But the walls were too high
Everyday they grow a little taller
Everyday they grow a little closer
They are closing in around me
Blocking out the light
I fear I will suffocate
In this prison
My lifeless body
Crushed between
The ever enclosing walls

In to the Black

(6/10/06)
I'm out too far
Where the water turns black
I'm exhausted
From trying to stay afloat
I pray for death to find me
To take me away from the pain
But it doesn't come
My legs keep churning
Attempting to keep my head aboue water
In the distance I see the boat
I cry out for assistance
"Please help me" I cry
"For I cannot go on"
"Swim to shore" they say
"You can make it"
I look for land
But all I see is ocean
"You can swim out of the blue"
they cry as they sail right past me
"I can swim out of the blue" I say
"But can't you see,
The blue is long gone.
I'm out in the black"
I want to give up
Stop my fruitless paddling
I'm tired
of being tossed around
Like flotsom
among the brutal waves
Pushed this way,
Pulled that way
I want to sink
Into the black
To be dragged under
In to the silent, peaceful
Endless night

Thoughts

(5/18/06)
Leave me be
Give me some peace
I can't stop thinking
About how things used to be
About how they could be today
It ended so suddenly
at first I couldn't believe it was over
Surely it cannot end this way
I said
But end it did
You were gone
Leaving nothing of your behind
It should have been easy to move on
There were no pictures left
To remind me of you
No forgotten belongings
That used to be yours
But you fill my thoughts
At least once a day
You cross my mind
And the memory of
How things used to be
The dreams of how they could be today
But you're not here
You've gone
You've moved on
No thoughts of me to bother you
No thoughts of me to slow you down
And just when I think
I've moved on
You turn up in my dreams
Even in sleep I am haunted by you
I cannot stop thinking
About how things used to be
About how they could be today
Give me some peace
Leave me be

If You Could

Would you take it back
If you could
Would you erase what happened
If you could
Would you go back
To the way things were
If you could
Would you take back
That one thing
The thing that messed it all up
If you could
Or would you erase it all
If you could
Get rid of every memory
Every memory of us
If you could
Would you erase all of me
If you could

Goodbye

Goodbye
I need to say it
I need to leave this place
There's nothing left for me here
I need to pack my bags
Put them in my car
And drive away
No looking in the reveiew mirror
I need to say goodbye
I need to leave this place
There's nothing left for me here
I need to head towar the horizon
Need to seek out new pastures
Need to leave this desolate wasteland
Behind me
I need to say goodbye
I need to leave this place
There's nothing left for me here

Where Did You Go?

(5/14/06)
Where did you go?
You used to be right here with me
You used to be by my side
You were my strength
My reason for going on
Where did you go?
You used to pick me up when I fell
You used to cheer me up when I was down
You were my joy
The reason to live
Where did you go?
You left me behind
Looking back
I can see
How you were gone
Before you left
One day I looked around
And you were no where to be found
Where did you go?
Why did you leave when I needed you most?
How can I go on?
Who will lend me a hand when I need it?
How could you go?
How could you just leave me behind?
Where did you go?

My Fault

(5/14/06)
I understand why you left
It was all my fault
I thought I knew you
Turns out I was wrong
You seemed so nice
So trustworthy
I thought you were like me
Turns out I was wrong
I understand why you left
It was all my fault
I thought you were someone else
Turns out I was wrong
I never really knew you at all
Did you ever know me?
I understand why you left
It was all my fault
I thought I knew you
Turns out I was wrong
Now I sit here
Trying to piece together
My broken heart
I thought I knew you
It was all my fault

Thank You

(5/14/06)
Thank you
You were always there
You had my back
Whenever I was in trouble
You were there
To pull me back
When I fell
You were there
To pick me up
There are not enough words
For me to explain
Your love for me
Was the only thing
That mattereed
When everyone else
Left
You were there
Thank you

Where Do I Belong?

(5/14/06)
Where do I belong?
Sometimes I am too young
Sometimes I am too old
I just never seem to fit
Where do I belong?
In this world of pears
I am the lone apple
Never quite matching
But not different enough
to be noticed
Where do I belong?
This group seems like it might be home
But there's not room left, for me
I try that group
But I just don't get it
I don't understand
Where do I belong?
I keep trying
But nothing ever fits
There seems to be
No space
For me